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[16 Jul 2009|03:43pm] |
i wonder how long it'll take me
to miss
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[16 Jul 2009|09:19am] |
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toejam and earl is SO HARD!
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[16 Jul 2009|08:09am] |
Are you born with a passionate soul or is it something you inherit to brave?
On a side, the guy I want to fuck doesn't want to fuck me he wants more
I want more from the guy who wants to fuck me
Just being honest in my journal
Stoned drunk and rehearsing to play at the elbo room
Via blackberry
Jenny
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| something in the way we move.... |
[15 Jul 2009|01:44pm] |
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Man on man. It's been a crazy few days...
Shynee is pregnant! She showed me the little photo of the forming fetus yesterday. She's hoping for a girl, her husband is hoping for a boy. I'm positive I do not ever want to be pregnant. Jeff used the word husband a few weeks ago. It was weird. It's our 5 yr anniversary on July 24th. I hope he doesn't propose or anything. I've already said I think marriage is unnecessary for us and we should just leave things the way they are. I don't recall what his response was, but whatever. I'm not tying myself to him legally for him to fuck me over in a short amount of time.
Wow I'm so hungry.
Anyway, after I sent that email to Lori, we chatted the next day on the phone. She gave me the low-down on the job. The job is Customer Service and being a Trade Show bitch - travelling across Canada to consumer shows and trade shows and working the booth. I have really bad people skills and stage fright so this definitely was a big deal-breaker for me. The current person didn't go on these shows twice a month for 9 months of the year because she couldn't be trusted to stick to the script. She's very outspoken and doesn't like people telling her what to do. So they didn't let her go. They want the next person to be able to do it. Lori could tell this wasn't what I expected. I asked to think it over until Monday.
Right after the 11am convo, I hauled ass to head over to the Toronto Island Airport to fly to Halifax, NS. Jeff met me at Union and drove me the rest of the way. Then we waited an hour for our 1:30pm flight. The lounge is really nice! Free snacks and drinks. The flight was fine except for the headache I had. Being on a plane with a headache blows. We had a stopover in Ottawa. It was only 20 minutes so we had to stay on the plane. Jeff's parents met us at the airport and drove us home. Jeff's dad's hair was to his shoulders! *lol* I felt super comfortable this time around. I chatted and everything was great.
Jeff's Parents
 We ate salmon and rice for dinner which was super good. But then Jeff wanted us to sit outside at midnight in front of a fire. I was reluctant because I feared bug bites... Jeff got a little ticked and forced me outside. The mosquitos had a feast on nobody else but me. Ugh. Mosquitos bite me on the neck, my chin, and right ass cheek, and my right hand on the knuckle. They swelled up pretty big... I had to attend the Paul McCartney concert the next evening all fucking itchy and burning and swollen. It was terrible. BUT, I was trying really hard to forget about it. But I couldn't and Jeff was pissed off at me. We fought again at the show. He said that he thought I'd be more excited and he said I just looked depressed the entire time.
Anyway, the concert was fab. There was 50,000+ people there. Around 7am on the day of the show we deove over to the Commons to see the stage and figure out where the entrance would be. There were people there already standing in line so that they'd get front row lawn seats. Paul wasn't even scheduled to go on stage until 9PM that night!! They stood there for a long time... Once you were on the grounds, you couldn't leave and expect to get back in. Crazy! We bought the $300 VIP seats so we were in the grand stand and didn't need to worry about that.
I slept most of the time we were at the house. I had a headache and I just wanted jeff to spend time with his parents on his own without me. We left at 6pm for the show and were there until almost midnight. Joe Plaskett opened but we walked the grounds while he was on. I ate some fries and then we went to our seats. I'll cut together some of the videos later. Here are some photos from the show:
Paul went on around 9pm. Opened with the first song on Rubber Soul, Drive My Car. He sounded amazing. He was so cute too! He played for 2 hrs and 45 minutes. CRAZY!! I will never forget singing along with all those people to Hey Jude and Let it Be and Give Peace a Chance. I almost cried when he sang 'A Long and Winding Road' and 'My Love'. He even had the ukulele that George Harrison gave him. He played it while singing the beginning of 'Something (in the was she moves)'. It felt extra special to me cuz I've been reading Pattie Boyd's autiobiography and George wrote that song for her.
Helter Skelter, A Day in the Life, Yesterday, Back in the USSR, Blackbird, Eleanor Rigby, Mull of Kintyre (with a full set of bag pipers!!), Dance Tonight, Live and Let Die, Band on the Run, Jet... I can't remember the rest of the set list; it all went by so quickly. He didn't take any breaks either. 67 years old!!!
Jeff's parents said they heard the music from their backyard so they decided to drive over and just watch through the fence. It's a big open field so they could see the big screens and hear the music really well. They watched the whole show from outside the grounds. We met up with them at midnight and drove to Fongs Restaurant for egg rolls to take home. We ate and went to bed.
Next morning I slept until noon. Jeff and I went for a drive. I bought a donair at Island Greek which was really good (I'm not a vegetarian anymore by the way. I'm not even sure what donair meat is even made of...) Our flight was at 5:45pm so we just hung out with Jeff's parents some more until it was time to go. They drove us to the airport and we waited for our Air Canada flight. The candy machine ate more of my money than it was supposed to. My bug bites were driving me crazy. I was so stressed. I started to cry in the lounge... We boarded and Jeff listened to a Smodcast with me (one with Kevin and Malcolm. I think it was Rurally Gay). The one where they talk about the GlassAss.com site and bifurcated dicks. Jeff was shocked. I laughed.
Richard picked us up at the airport and drove us back to the Island airport to pick up our truck. Then Jeff and I went home. We went to sleep wicked early. I was so happy to see Mewes!!
The next morning I had to give Lori my answer if I was going to take the Marketing job or not. The decision weighed heavily on me throughout our Halifax trip. I was 85% sure I was going to say yes. I kept trying to convince myself that this was the next step in life and I needed to take a leap and just commit to learning how to talk to people. But I knew in my gut that I was going to hate it. Probably moreso than my current job. Jeff wanted me to take it, but I started to cry and freak out. I had to say no. I got into work and wrote out what I was going to say. Lori called me at 11am and I told her I wasn't going to take it. She said she understood, but if I wanted it, the job was mine. She said lots of really nice things about me too. I still couldn't accept it. I said I know myself and I know that I couldn't do it for the long haul. So I had to talk to my boss and let he know since Lori already semi-mentioned it to her. UGH.
So a few hrs later I had a meeting with my boss. I staretd off saying "You probably already know why I'm here." and she said "yeah...." So I confessed that I hadn't been enjoying my job for the last few months and I know that there aren't many jobs available here so I decided to jump at the Marketing one when it opened up. But I didn't realize it involved so much trade show work and I'm terrible at public speaking. (She said she's in the same boat with public speaking and takes the ToastMasters course.) Anyway, we talked it over and they understand. But they don't want me to leave. I said I would keep doing IT full time until the end of August. By September I do not want to do it anymore. She said that's fine and it might leak into mid-September to find my replacement which I said was okay. She said we'll figure out what kind of work I can do in September. I agreed to be the secondary/backup IT to the new person which I'm fine with. I'm not sure what other work is available... but I'm not worried. I can finally breathe again. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Tomorrow Jeff and I are going to Summerlicious. I picked Zucca Tratoria in midtown (Yonge/Eg). It's an Italian restaurant. Before that though I have a meeting with David to finish up the graphics work for the Gypsy Rebels CD cover. They dug the cover I designed so I have to finish the back cover and the insert. David is the liason between me and the band.
Next Tuesday I have my gum grafting surgery. Fuck. I'm piss scared of that one. And I won't be able to smoke for a few days after. Meh. When I stop smoking dope I lose like 10 lbs. *lol* After this surgery, I swear to God my ED will be over for good.
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[15 Jul 2009|10:42am] |
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SAN DIEGO COMIC CON 2009
I'm going!! I've never been, nor have I ever been to California. We are driving so we leave tomorrow morning. If you will be there and see me please stop and say "HI!" :D
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| Tarot Readings Listed Again |
[14 Jul 2009|09:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
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spiritedness |
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| [ |
music |
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AgniVolok |
] |
I am giving tarot readings again. My shoppe is on Etsy, open and alive and Here.
Possibly later I will put up some barter methodology; trade for needed/wanted items.
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| Brussels Atomium |
[13 Jul 2009|02:59pm] |
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mood |
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rum icea creme |
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music |
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Goatwhore-Forever Consumed Oblivion |
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The Brussels Atomium, Saturday.
David and Mark licked ice creme and watched me jump from the Atomium for my first visit. I've been to Brussels numerous times, but my preference for Antwerpen has made those visits strictly for business. This visit was the first for pleasure. Beforehand; a chocolate beer in bar Delirium, a Lambic kriek in an overpriced cafe and I walked around the market. Afterward, we took the train back to watched Bruno and it was ehhh...
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| i need to find you |
[13 Jul 2009|07:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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hungry |
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music |
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Bring Me The Horizon - The Sadness Will Never End |
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these photos came out very blurry.
so this might sound weird, but i actually really dislike watching movies (and i've just realized why) same goes for television, although i can tolerate it a bit more than watching films. so with the exception of the last movie i saw a few weeks ago, the last time i went to see a movie was about half a year ago. most films really don’t appeal to me i suppose, especially all those mindless movies, or those really obnoxious romance movies, of things that could never happen. but really, and i don’t know how to explain this, but i don’t like the way i feel when watching films. which i believe might be one of reasons why people might actually go see films, because certainly different films evoke different emotions in people. the few movies i’ve really enjoyed are mostly just novel adaptations, documentaries, memoirs, anthology type films and maybe, a few comedies here and there. other than that i think i dislike about 90% of movies. i’m so weird.
   ( hold nothing back )
so this is the venting part of my post: i find it quite incredible how completely and utterly misunderstood i am by others. my preference to spend most of my time on my own and because i’m always too apprehensive to really engage with others, often leaves others with the impression that i am either very dull or arrogant. i get that this could quite possibly be all my fault, and maybe i should learn to speak up, but naturally i just am uneasy around other people. to afraid to express how i feel, or say what i mean. it’s frustrating, when i’ve got so much that i want to say sometimes that it overwhelms me, but of course the words never leave my mouth. i often observe others when in groups and am always in complete awe of how easily others can hold conversations and relate to one another, when i find it really hard to even ask “how they are doing” without thinking that somehow, the way i’ve said it sounds incredibly stupid. times like these just seem to reassures my belief that i will probably never find any sort of understanding from anyone. no wonder, i don’t have very many friends at all, attempting to have any sort of relationship with any human being is so complicated. at least i still have books, and i still have art, and that’s mostly what i pour my time into.
so glad i get to sleep in tomorrow.
and the rest of my day is going to be spent making strawberry short cake
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[10 Jul 2009|08:43pm] |
Went tubing yesterday. So.much.fun! The water was freeezing, but on the upside--an alligator did not eat me.
Eating a concoction of green beans and chicken soup. Trying to eat everything I already have before spending money on groceries...it's just getting to be slim pickings.
Sitting here on ChaCha trying to get to the $100 mark before the payout on the 15th. It's been SO INCREDIBLY SLOW though. Go ask ChaCha some questions--maybe I'll get a few!
Andy is dog-sitting Wishbone! I'm going to get her to tell me stories soon!
Bummed that a $50 check I was counting on isn't coming any time soon. :(
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[09 Jul 2009|11:37am] |
Michelangelo's first painting.
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[09 Jul 2009|11:22am] |
( gut )
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| Writer's Block: Firsts |
[09 Jul 2009|10:41am] |
Utterly7Random
The Digitally Enhanced Version of a Gracious Life -- Day
The Introduction. - Suprisingly Dull [01 Aug 2003|10:12pm]
[ mood | discontent ]
[ music | Oleander- I Walk Alone. Incubus- I Miss You. ]
I came to realize that EasyJournal, the journal I used until now, had boring composition. ::gets some sobe::
McKinley and I were sitting in the double black chairs, and she picked up an electronical-nose-hair-remover and said, "Hey Grace, look." I looked over at her, with this 5 inch silver tube-looking object in her left hand, "What's that?"
"A Nose-Hair Trimmer, I guess."
"Exciting! My turn?" She gestured her hand outwards and I grabbed for it, pushed the switch up and shoved it up my nose.
My uncle said it doesn't do anything unless you actually have hair in your nose, and I'm assuming I had some hair up there but not enough for it to make the heavy buzzing noise it made when he curiously put it in his nose.
I attempted to put it in KeeKee's nose when she wasn't looking, but she'd swat her hand at me and said if she removed the hair, then it would grow back thicker. I laughed and continued trimming away. ::smirk::
170/196 on my buddy list. Maybe that means people are out on friday nights at 10:05 PM (Drew's birthday). I would be oot and aboot, but McKinley is returning home tonight in hopes of getting a job soon, and we're waiting for the procrastinating JIM to get back from Jamie's house so she can bring her home.
I miss my sister. I haven't seen her for over a month, but fortunately I'm going to get her in a few days. My parents were planning on sending me by plane, but.. PSHH, I'm going Hogwarts style. ::quick nod:: for serious.
I would like to thank my dear friend Halé for giving me her deadjournal code so I could make this.
I'm hungry, I'm going to go out and eat something. Or possibly I just want something more exciting to do, other than sitting around, typing my seconds away.
Oh my ford, I miss Drew.
::sweet sigh::
I'll write more later on tonight when I'm not sleeping.
(I just got out of bed one hour ago).
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